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Mother’s day Editorial: ‘The indispensable person’

Mother's Day. A mother is a person who is always there for you, now matter what.

An old Jewish saying: ‘God couldn’t be everywhere, so He made mothers.’
I think this saying couldn’t be more right. A mother is always there. When you are young, like very young, you are completely depending on your mother (of course, modern daddies often will play an important role too, but today I talk about moms); She feeds you, takes care of you, she baths you, makes sure you are warm enough, hugs you and learns you simple things like what’s the sound of a cow. Or how to ride your little bicycle. A bit later, when you are a school kid, and then an annoying high-school teenager, she is there for a hundred of reasons. To cook you a nice meal, to wash your clothes after a week of camp, to help with homework, to buy a present for your best friend, to cut your toenails, to tuck you into bed, to be strict and to teach you important things; how to eat with knife and fork or how to behave in front of other people, how to stay motivated and plan your school work. When you are a student she will be there  a bit less, but still she will be there at the background. You won’t need her every day, but the moments when you have an emotional meltdown (not passed an important exam, first serieus heartbreak, having a terrible fever all alone, at your tiny student flat etc. etc.), she will come as your Guardian angel. To help, to support, to care, to give advice. A bit later again, when you start your adult life (or at least try to), she will be there more as a friend. A special friend. One with life experience, knowledge of human nature, one who only wants the very best for you. Because you are her child. She will be there to hug you, talk to you and support you when life isn’t easy. And of course she also will be there during happy times; family dinners, walks in the park, morning coffees, be there when you might become a mother (or father) yourself. What I would like to say with all this: a mother’s love is unconditionally. A mother is the most self-sacrificing person in the world. She is always busy with her child. When they are young she is really ‘hands-on’ busy with her child, but when they grow older she always will be busy with her child in her head. She will always care, worry, love, support, and just be there.

My mother

My mother means a lot to me. Although she lives in the Netherlands, and there is a 10.000 km distance between us, I know she is always there. She is sweet, funny, caring, clever, beautiful, creative and friendly. To every person she will be friendly. For me she’s a friend to speak to, share moments of daily life in our WhatsApp conversations with, have fun with, advice each other and to be supportive with. Even with the distance between us. We only see each other a few times a year, but I don’t see that really as a big issue. I know she is there, always. Even when physically she is not. What I miss the most about the fact that I live in South Africa and she in the Netherlands, is that you can’t have short morning coffees, little weekend outings, a shopping session. Or a weekday supper at each other’s house. A partner in crime to organise a neighbourhood street dinner party. Anyway. That is part of living in the most beautiful country in the world, being a Dutchie with my family in Europe. The most important is that I love my mom to bits and I know she loves me and my brothers, at least as much as we love her. And probably even more. Because there she is our mother for.

To all other mothers in the world

Of course I wish all other mothers in the world a Happy Mother’s Day, too! I hope you all got spoiled rotten and will be loved and hugged even more than normal. Eat cake, drink wine, dance on the table, unpack presents, receive sweet drawings, listen to children’s songs and please be a bit lazy! It’s your day today. And after today you have to wait for a whole year again…

Not to forget

After all these glorifying words about moms, I just woud like to add a little side note. Because for some people Mother’s Day isn’t such a great day. Please do think today as well of:
– people with a horrible mom. Yes, they exist. Mothers who actually should never have become a mother. Maybe they have good reasons, but often they don’t. I always feel very sad when I hear a story about not-loving moms. My thoughts are with the poor children.
– people who lost their mom. It is always sad to lose someone you love, but I can imagine to lose your mother will make you feel uprooted. At least for a while. I would be so terribly sad.
– women who would love to have children, but it just doesn’t work. There are more women than you think with the unaccomplished wish to be a mother. To care for a child. To love their own baby unconditionally. Whether they don’t find the right partner, or whether they can’t have children because they won’t fall pregnant, it is very sad. Especially on a day like this.
– step moms. They didn’t always choose for a life together with their partner who has a child (or a bunch of children). I have great respect for step moms who love the children of their partner as their own. Who care for them, help them, support them.
– adoption moms. Thumbs up to all people in the world who decide to adopt a child and give her or him a better, safer home with possibilities, love and support.
– gay couples. When two men raise a child together, they can be mom and dad at the same time. And often one plays more the role of the mom than the other. Problem solved, and just as special as a female mom.
– single dads. Single dads are mom and dad at the same time. So also for them Mother’s Day is special.

Photo by Unsplash

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